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The Accrescent Podcast Ep. 146 How I've Been Self-Sabotaging My Joy w/Anxiety


How I’ve Been Self-Sabotaging My Joy w/Anxiety


Episode Summary

In this solo episode, Leigh Ann delves into a personal epiphany sparked by reading ‘The Big Leap’ by Dr. Gay Hendricks, exploring the concept of ‘upper limiting’—the idea that people have a threshold for how much goodness they can tolerate before self-sabotage occurs. Leigh Ann shares her realization of how this concept applied to her own experiences around having a successful business and being calm, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and overcoming subconscious beliefs that limit our ability to accept success and positivity. 

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Leigh Ann: Hello, welcome back to The Accrescent Podcast. I’m your host, Leigh Ann. And today we’ve got a solo episode, just me here, and we’re going to cover some housekeeping things at the beginning. But after that, I want to spend some time talking about a big epiphany I had recently and how. A book I’ve been reading recently really played a big, big role in that epiphany.
Leigh Ann: So we’re going to get to that, but I do want to start with some quick housekeeping to cover some of the big changes that have happened over the last few weeks here at The Accrescent. So first and foremost, My Evox books are starting to book out pretty far in advance. So my next available standard Evox appointment is going to be at this point, mid July, I think July 11th is going to be the next available.
Leigh Ann: The last few weeks have been me trying to figure out, you know, as exciting as this is wanting to find a way to ensure that when people come in, they can get regular appointments. At least some people will be able to get regular appointments. And so I’ve been trying to brainstorm ways to make that work.
Leigh Ann: And so with that, what I’ve decided to launch our Evox packages and with the Evox packages, you’ll get access to private priority booking and access to additional appointment availability that isn’t publicly available. So I think my next. Evox holder or Evox package holder appointment is going to be mid April, around April 16th or so.
Leigh Ann: So a couple options for those who are interested, wanting to book. One, you can still book discovery calls. So those are there. With a little bit more availability. You don’t have to wait till July to get some of those. If you still want to ask questions, you can book in advance. Although at this time, my books only allow for booking four months in advance.
Leigh Ann: So if you go on the website and it’s showing there’s no availability, That means that every appointment within the next four months has already been booked and taken. But I encourage you each week to check in because each week that passes, a new week of availability will open up four months from now.
Leigh Ann: So if you want to just get on the schedule, book an appointment, you can always hit pay later. You don’t have to pay for an appointment right now when it’s So far in advance. Second option is I did create a wait list, which is really just uh, to get email notified so you can join the wait list and sign up to be on the wait list.
Leigh Ann: You will get an email if a last minute appointment or an appointment within the next month has opened up, so you’ll be one of the first to know about that and have the opportunity to book it. Second option is you can look into the Evox packages and this is what’s going to give you the most availability and the earliest availability to be able to book.
Leigh Ann: So I will put links to both the waitlist and the Evox packages down below. For any who might be interested. The last thing I’ll say to that too, is I am continuing to build out my online platform, which is called the uplevel lab. And very, very soon now I’m going to be launching a number of different courses and workshops within that platform.
Leigh Ann: And my hope with this is it’s going to be a really wonderful resource for maybe individuals who can’t work with me one on one for any number of reasons, or for individuals who. Are going to be working with me, but their appointment isn’t for a few months. You can get into this uplevel lab, start working through some of the courses and programs and be able to get support from me before we get to our one on one session.
Leigh Ann: So throwing that out there as well. There’s links to the uplevel lab in the show notes along with that. I think that’s all of housekeeping. Very, very exciting things, all good problems to have. I am not a logistics expert so it has been stressful for me trying to figure out what are my options here, what changes can I make, what shifts can I make to be able to You know, try and ensure that when people come in, they can get more regular appointments.
Leigh Ann: So I think this package option is the best option that I’ve been able to come up with so far. And of course, there’s always constant evolution and growth that’s happening here.
Leigh Ann: In case you haven’t heard in 2024, we are no longer applying our natural deodorant. We are eating it. And let me explain for the past few months now. I have been using it just works natural deodorant capsules What I love about these is it’s helping deodorize the body from the inside out What we know about body odor from a more holistic perspective is oftentimes Body odor is coming from internal Imbalances.
Leigh Ann: So yes, we can use natural deodorants that help Um, mask the odor from the outside, but it’s not oftentimes getting to the root cause. It just works natural deodorant capsules help deodorize the body from the inside out. It’s organic, there’s no fillers, completely non toxic and clinically proven to help deodorize the entire body, not just our armpits.
Leigh Ann: This includes Oral odor armpit odor odor down there if you know what I’m talking about So check the show notes for a link to learn more and order your first. It just works deodorant capsules
Leigh Ann: Okay getting to the episode or kind of the core content I am so excited to talk about this big epiphany that I had over these last really I think This came up for me and it just was so enlightening that I was very, very excited to come share it here. For any who have listened to the podcast for a while now, you guys might remember, I think two years ago now, I did a podcast.
Leigh Ann: A whole Evox series, which is where the entire year, once a week, I was doing an Evox session on myself, working through my own limiting beliefs, my own traumatic experiences, and in those, um, in those episodes, sharing with all of you, what are the things I’m working through? What are the blocks I’m trying to clear?
Leigh Ann: What are the negative or limiting patterns I feel stuck in? And I heard from so many of you that it was just really impactful to hear someone else’s experience of the blocks and how they’re starting to work through them, the limiting beliefs that were contributing to those, et cetera. So this is a little bit of that today.
Leigh Ann: And I’m excited to get back to that because I love sharing my experience and how I’m growing and what I’m working through. So, for any who follow me on social media, you guys might have seen that I have recently been reading The Big Leap by Dr. Gay Hendricks. Cannot recommend this book enough. I absolutely devoured it.
Leigh Ann: I loved it so much. I’ve recommended it to so many people, so many clients already. I’ll make sure it’s linked in the show notes. And I want to give us the kind of broad brush strokes of the point he’s making in this book, and then how that relates to this epiphany that I feel like I had recently. So. The preface of the book is he is saying that we all have a limited tolerance or a limited capacity for the amount of goodness, joy, love, success that we are able to tolerate.
Leigh Ann: And once we have reached that limit, we start self sabotaging really. And the word he uses for this is we start upper limiting, limiting ourselves. I have reached my upper limit of what I can tolerate or what I have the capacity for in terms of goodness, love, success. And because of that, I’m unconsciously self sabotaging myself to go back into that limit of where I’m comfortable.
Leigh Ann: That’s the big picture. And this is something I see and talk about so much. so much with clients even before reading his book was really something I was describing to clients just in my own words in a different way and that’s why I love this book so much because it is so in line with what I see and what I teach and I think he describes this so succinctly, so clearly.
Leigh Ann: And, and in such an easy to understand way. And I love that. So it’s a book that I think anyone can read and it’s just going to be so, so impactful. But with all that said, of course, as I’m reading through it, I’m asking myself, okay, where, where am I upper limiting? And absolutely, I have been aware of patterns of self sabotage.
Leigh Ann: In my life, and a few years ago, particularly even going into that Evoque series that I recorded two years ago, self sabotage was a huge part of my life in so many different ways. Relationships, business being a really, really big one, financial self sabotage. And I do know That there were other, other components at play here.
Leigh Ann: For example, a lot of limiting subconscious beliefs around, is it safe to have success? Is it safe to have financial abundance? Do I feel worthy of financial abundance? Do I feel worthy of business success? Is it safe to be seen? There was a ton of, I had a ton of limiting beliefs around this. And at the same time, I also think there was some of this upper limiting stuff going on and still going on, although in way, way lesser degrees.
Leigh Ann: So, how does that bring me back to this week and the epiphany that I had? The last few months, I’d say really the whole start of this year, January, February, now we’re two weeks into March has been such an amazing time of growth in my practice and my business, more and more clients coming in, more and more referrals coming in, growth in every single area.
Leigh Ann: And it’s, It’s everything you hope for as a small business owner, when it’s just you, you want to get to those phases of growth. You want to get to those places where the referrals are coming in, people are noticing you and wanting to know what you’re about and what you’re up to. So it’s super exciting.
Leigh Ann: And with that said, having to really reassess. the structure and the way in which I do business and see clients to be able to make sure that it’s sustainable, not just for me, but for my clients, that it’s impactful for my clients. Um, and so it’s been stressful, I guess, long story short, it’s been a stressful few months because of good problems, all good problems to have, but again, not being like, An expert business coach or a logistics manager.
Leigh Ann: It’s been pretty overwhelming for me trying to figure out What changes need to be made what makes sense? How can I start to roll out these changes in a way? That’s not Overwhelming or too jarring for my clients or even for me What will be sustainable? What do those changes even look like? And in that, I just have noticed there’s just been an undercurrent of anxiety these last few months, which is not common for me at all.
Leigh Ann: I really would say, I think especially because the work I’ve done and continue to do, My undercurrent or my baseline is usually one that’s pretty calm, steady, peaceful. Um, and recently I just have felt that deep undercurrent of anxiousness, hyperactivity, really in a fight flight state a lot. Although I think I’m pretty good at making sure I don’t bring that energy into client sessions.
Leigh Ann: But something struck me as I was finishing up this book, The Big Leap, that, I just think was so profound and impactful of realizing in part, I think this anxiousness was because, Hmm, I have some problems to solve here that I don’t feel super equipped to solve. And I feel like I need to solve them really quickly.
Leigh Ann: And so just a part of that. That nervous system activation that was coming from that and I’ll say more to that in a second, but I also really, really believe now, especially in reading Dr. Hendrick’s book, that a part of that anxiety was also an upper limit problem where there was this subconscious belief.
Leigh Ann: And as I look back now, I can see it so starkly that my business is starting to thrive. It’s, it’s blowing up. It’s doing so well. I’m finally getting on the radar. And then this sneaky little subconscious belief of, and I can’t have both. I can’t have a thriving business and peace. I can’t have a thriving business and calm and joy.
Leigh Ann: That’s too much goodness. That’s too much pleasure. That’s too much calm. No, no, no, no. If your business is thriving, then we’ve got to be anxious because otherwise that’s too much. They’re not compatible. It’s too good. You don’t deserve all that goodness. If your business is thriving, then you’ve got to be anxious and upset in some ways.
Leigh Ann: And whoa, did that rock my world. Because I absolutely think that has been at play in these last few months of upper limiting myself in limiting the amount of goodness and peace and joy available to me because it went with outside the bounds of my capacity for it. It went with outside the bounds of my subconscious beliefs about it.
Leigh Ann: And I have to say, in getting hip to that, the anxiousness went down by like 70%. Just with that awareness around what was going on subconsciously in relation to that of, you know, now, even just within the last couple days going through my day, just telling myself, hey, I can have a thriving business and peace and calm throughout my day.
Leigh Ann: And the impact has been so substantial. Unbelievable, really. It’s been phenomenal. Because. All of a sudden it’s just like, Oh, wait, I, you mean I can receive this? You mean I can have a thriving business and, and be happy? Like I can have both? I can have my cake and eat it too? Okay! Amazing! I’ll do that! And it’s been so powerful to see how I’ll feel that anxiousness creeping back in, that worry And then just reminding myself of that gently of like, no, no, it’s okay to receive the goodness of this peace in this moment, I don’t need to sabotage it.
Leigh Ann: I don’t need to manufacture anxiousness and dysregulation just because it feels like if I had a thriving business and peace, that that’s just too good to be true. And I really think I was sabotaging it because that was the belief beneath it.
Leigh Ann: For those of you who follow me on Instagram, you’ll know that I share Honey Bee Hippie so often. This is my absolute favorite brand of tallow products There are so many skin benefits to using tallow and since I started using tallow on my skin I noticed that I just am so well hydrated. It responds, my skin responds so well to it.
Leigh Ann: I also noticed that because I’m using my hands to rub it in, my nails grow like crazy. There’s just so many bioavailable nutrients available in Talo. And my absolutely favorite brand is Honey Bee Hippie. I have used so many of her products. What I love is number one This is a local female owned small business here in orange county She makes all of her products herself with the absolute cleanest highest quality ingredients A couple of her products that i’m absolutely obsessed with right now are her magnesium butter And then her whipped tallow butter.
Leigh Ann: I’m using her rewind I’ll just read you some of these ingredients. They’re so amazing organic frankincense rose lavender chamomile calendula Marshmallow root infused into a hundred percent grass fed tallow and organic olive oil organic beeswax Here’s one thing. I really want to point out though because This is why I love Honey Bee Hippie so much.
Leigh Ann: Aside from how clean the ingredients are, she doesn’t use any essential oils. And for those of you who have heard one of my past interviews about how essential oils can be really, really harsh on our skin, especially when used chronically, I started noticing I was really having a lot of reactions to products with essential oils in them, even including products like deodorant.
Leigh Ann: All of her products are made with herbal infusions meaning these herbs are soaked and that is infused into the tallow of the product versus using those more harsh essential oils. So check the link below. I also have a discount code for you guys so be sure to check the show notes for that discount code and to learn more and shop so many of her amazing, amazing tallow products.
Leigh Ann: Now, what I do want to say quickly and throw into this is, is there a component of this that is a very normal, natural response to changes in life? Yes. I’m coming into an era of life that I’ve never been in before. There’s problems, good problems, that I need to solve that I’ve never had to solve before.
Leigh Ann: So there’s a lot of newness. That I need to figure out. What do I need to do to solve these problems? What information do I need to have? And I do think it’s normal for change and challenges to be dysregulating. So I think there is a part of the anxiousness that is very very normal. But typically if I have anxiousness that’s appropriate, I’m able to process it, understand it, and then re regulate myself pretty quickly.
Leigh Ann: And these last few months, despite all the tips and tricks and tools, it’s been super, super persistent. And just like I teach my clients when there’s something that’s really, really persistent, it’s because there’s a subconscious belief that I’m anxious. Beneath it. And so I wanted to point that out because I don’t think the anxiousness I’ve been experiencing these last few months has been only an upper limit problem.
Leigh Ann: I think in part, it’s been a very natural response to growth and change, but I think the reason that I wasn’t able to fully work through it and release it. Is because of the upper limit problem because there were these deeper subconscious beliefs of no, I can’t let this anxiousness go I can’t have it all it’s too much good And so that is where some of that subconscious piece was coming in And sabotaging me a little bit.
Leigh Ann: So it was really fun and profound to have that realization come in and I also just think and I say this all the time with clients. I think it’s so You Once we identify the subconscious beliefs. Making the shifts can come with so much ease sometimes. And that’s exactly what I’ve experienced in this last week.
Leigh Ann: As soon as I was able to acknowledge or identify, Oh, a big part of this are these subconscious beliefs around the amount of goodness that I can have in my life. Now, every time that anxiousness creeps in, not only can I do my nervous system work, my somatic work, my meditations, but I can have this inner dialogue with myself.
Leigh Ann: Where I’m just talking myself through super quickly and it might take me 30 seconds talking myself through Hey, if part of this is because you don’t believe you can have this much goodness. That’s not true We can receive this. I’m not going to repel this goodness I’m not going to close this portal to goodness off just because I don’t I think it’s too much and That quick little 30 second dialogue with myself, every time it starts to creep in, has been so powerful.
Leigh Ann: And within a week, The anxiousness has gone down by like 70%. And so I give that as an example to say that oftentimes these patterns we feel stuck in for days, weeks, months, even years, once we identify the subconscious roots, those patterns can start to shift immediately because we’ve gotten. To exactly, we’ve gotten to that subconscious root of what was fueling it, not the conscious piece that we might be aware of.
Leigh Ann: So, I wanted to share that today in just a quick little solo episode because it has been super, super profound for me, that realization and seeing it show up real time as I was reading this book. So I hope it was impactful. And if you haven’t yet read that book, I really, really highly recommend it. Again, I’ll make sure it’s linked in the show notes.
Leigh Ann: Otherwise, I hope you guys enjoyed this quick little episode and we will be back next Monday with a little bit more. Have a great week, weekend, everyone. And until next time.